Monday, January 12, 2009

It's Time To Light the Lights


Those of you who've been reading my blog regularly not only know that I am a movie awards show geek but also that I like to re-cap the best and worst of the broadcast. I will preface my comments by saying that I definitely did not get to see all the movies I had intended to, so my comments are going to be a little more superficial than critical... In no particular order, here are my thoughts on The Golden Globes.

1) Where was George Clooney? An awards show is not an awards show if it's Clooney-less.
2) Renee Zellweger was the worst dressed, by far. Sure, she took a risk, but it did not pay off. Her hair was bad, dress was bad, posture was bad. What is it about her that people find attractive? She squints her eyes all the time. She clenches her legs together when she's standing. It literally looked like she had to pee on the red carpet. Horrible.
3) I was thrilled to see Sacha Baron Cohen on stage as himself and not as a character. First of all, he's a pretty good looking guy. Second, he's got a pretty sexy accent. I thought he was one of the funnier presenters. His joke about Madonna was wicked funny, even if the audience didn't laugh.
4) Which brings me to my next point. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie need to crawl into a hole and stay there until they can find their senses of humor. Really. I don't care if they're huge philanthropists. They didn't get to where they are by bagging groceries at Stop and Shop. They are supposed to be entertainers. If they can't laugh at themselves (or at anybody else), it might be time to find another job. People can poke fun at Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorsese, even the Holocaust brought a laugh (albeit slightly uncomfortable) but god forbid they say anything about sainted Brangelina! The only one who seemed to get away with it was Don Cheadle and I reckon that's because he's friends with Brad Pitt. Brad and Angelina also dissed Ryan Seacrest at the pre-show. Sure, the dude is annoying and everywhere, but at least he knows what he's doing. How could they choose Billy Bush over Ryan Seacrest? Rumor has it that Angelina can hold quite the grudge. Lighten up. Deal with it, Angelina Jolie!
5) Which brings me to Tracey Morgan... I happened to find him pretty funny, even though he was a little irreverent. Tina Fey may regret that promise, though.
6) If I say wonderful glowing things about TIna Fey, do you think she'll mention me in her next awards speech? I love that she called out people who talk trash about her on the internet! Sorry, dianefan - Tina Fey is awesome.
7) Ram jam! I am really glad Mickey Rourke won (although it could have easily gone to Sean Penn). Considering what a big comeback this is for him, I found it surprising the cameras didn't cut to him much, especially when Seth Rogen joked about them snorting cocaine at the Globes. My partner-in-obsessive-movie-watching-crime, Vanessa, thinks maybe it was because he was up drinking most of the show. A possibility. I thought he gave a really good speech. Held it together. Although apparently he has a weird thing about his dogs. Vanessa sent me videos and articles from the internet proving the man really is that attached to his dogs. I guess he's a tough guy with a soft inside.
8) Smile Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie!
9) Very little political talk.
10) Yay for Slumdog Millionaire! It's a great movie if you haven't seen it yet.
11) Yay for Kate Winslet! She's talented, gorgeous, and funny! Who didn't love that she forgot Angelina Jolie's name?!
12) Earlier this week, the Golden Globes site had accidentally marked Anne Hathaway the winner of the Best Actress-Drama category. They took it down pretty quickly, but not before people saw it. Perez HIlton even posted something on his site. So, I'm a little sorry that she lost.
13) I also happened to like Ricky Gervais. He's a pretty funny guy.
14) Tony Shalhoub was wearing quite the shirt. I'm pretty sure it had a sequined collar.
15) Yay for Bruce Springsteen! Good speech. Good song. I also liked Peter Gabriel's song for Wall-E. What I didn't like? Sting's new look.
16) We, as a society, need to be done with Miley Cyrus. She's gross. Her voice is gross. She tosses the peace sign too much and still sticks her tongue out at the camera. Huh? I'm glad she lost.
17) Martin Scorsese is fun to look at. And he has a good sense of humor (American Express commercials). Fun fact - Back in the day, Martin Scorsese was one of the editors of the documentary Woodstock: 3 Days of Peace and Music. I wrote a paper about that in one of my undergrad film classes.
18) I missed George Clooney.

I am sure I could say a million other things, but I think that about wraps it up. The Oscar nominations come out on January 22nd, so that will be my focus soon enough!

*The photo in this post is from the Buenos Aires wedding. Around 1a, air guns positioned at the sides of the ballroom started shooting out confetti approximately every 45 minutes. Smoke machines, confetti-shooting air guns, maracas, crazy hats, a Brazilian drum corp... the fun goes on and on!

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